Rants of a Chocoholic

I gave that boy so many chances, and he kept breaking my heart, never knowing what he wanted. 

But last December he quasi-cheated on me (one of my best friends came up with the term :P)

basically, we dated in grade 9 for a bit, and then we broke up in grade 10, because he didn’t know how he felt. So 3 1/2 months there. He dated another girl about a week later. 

After I had a rough breakup with another guy, turned out he liked me again, and then a few months later, we had a bit of a flirtationship going on, until we started to actually date, the flirtationship lasted about 3 months, so romantic history is now at about 6 1/2 months.

We dated for 2 1/2 months, but then he started being a jerk. Later I found out it was because he started liking another girl, and didn’t think it was fair to me to date me while liking her. They were flirting a lot, and he apparently couldn’t control himself on that, so anyways, he acts like a jerk until I finally just leave him because I couldn’t take it anymore. So now romantic history is at: 9 months.

So I stop being friends with him for a while, because I need time and space to get over him. (He claimed to not have feelings for me anymore, so that wasn’t supposed to be an issue, though he did still, so it was… anyways, he was a mess for a bit, dunno how long. I just heard he was.)

A month later, I’m fine, and I come back around to be his friend again, and then a flirtationship starts again, this time for about 7 months. Now romantic history is at: 16 months, or 1 year and 4 months. 

Actual Dating Time: 6 Months (total)
Flirtationship Time: 10 Months  
Total Romantic History Time: 16 Months (1 year and 4 months)

So nearly a year and half basically. Anyways, so after all that, and the 7 month flirtationship that was ongoing, suddenly, he’s in a relationship with this girl, which hurt me pretty badly.

Then suddenly I find out, not only was he flirting with her since August (it was now December), but this was his second time dating her. He dated her once sometime around September-October. We made out the day before school, and he said he loved me. We madeout Halloween. If he wasn’t dating her at these times, it was still pretty damn close, and he was flirting with me these times too. So of course, I was very hurt. 

& I didn’t talk to him after that for a while. I started avoiding facebook too, just so I didn’t have to see his posts (stubborn me didn’t want to delete him.) I didn’t talk to him. I was very hurt… nearly a year and a half of romantic history, and a flirtationship that had lasted for 7 months and was still going, and then… just treated like that, it hurt. 

He’s tried flirting with me since, like this weekend. I can tell he has feelings for me again, but thing is, I’m not stupid anymore, and my heart isn’t either. 

I won’t trust him with my heart again, but clearly, my own heart won’t even trust him, because my heart just doesn’t want him anymore. Guess you can only break a heart and trust so many times before it’s irreparable. 

He’s just my friend now, that’s all I see anyways. Even if he wants more. But I guess that’s a lesson for him. If you really want her, don’t break her heart and trust. There’s no guarantee she’ll come back. 

Oh, and the “quasi-cheating” term for anyone who doesn’t get it: 

We call it that because he basically cheated on me, but because we weren’t dating, he didn’t. So it’s sort of cheating, but not really. Hence, Quasi-cheating.

Correction to earlier post:
Algonquin not Ojibwa. They’re all under the same family (Anishaabe. Spelling?) but they are two different tribes -barely. Cultural and language is basically the same.
So the name thing that confused me:
Algonquin and Ojibwa are part of the Anishaabe family, which is part of the Algonquian language family.
Algonquin and Algonquian. Who the hell is the ass who named these and made em one letter off?
I read Anishaabe a couple times, and found out they include the Ojibwa, Algonquin, etc. and was instantly confused, so I thought Algonquin meant Ojibwa or something cuz I confused it with the language family, Algonquian. My bad, but least I corrected it now (Y)

So I found out today I’m part Ojibwa. My great grandma was 1/2 or 1/4. (sources don’t agree which. So I’m either 1/16 or 1/32 it doesn’t matter though cuz it’s there, that’s the part I care about, and besides, either one is still not enough to get a status card or anything. But, it’s there.) 

So, here’s a summary of my tree: 

My mother’s mum was 100% English Canadian
My mother’s father was 100% Irish. 

So my mum is 1/2 English and 1/2 Irish.

My dad’s mum was 100% English Canadian
My dad’s dad was 1/4 or 1/8 Ojibwa, 1/2048 Mi’kmaq, and then the rest of him was all French.

So that makes my dad: 50% English, 1/8 or 1/16 Ojibwa, 1/4096 Mi’kmaq, and the rest French. 

Making me:

50% English, 25% Irish, 3.125%-6.25% Ojibwa, 0.012% Mi’kmaq and 18.262%-21.863% French.

Amusing Fact: I’m primarily English, then Irish, yet I seem to relate with my French side better. Probably cuz I was raised that way more than anything.
French Immersion, and we were always told about our French heritage but our English and Irish ones were ignored completely.

So, the term I guess for me is Ojirenglenmaqadian. Oj(ibwa) Ir(ish) Engl(ish)(Fr)en(ch) (Mi’k)maq (Can)adian. 

That gets hard though, so you might as well call me “Metis” which, actually means Mixed blood, though the term now seems to be pretty much associated with people who are in Manitoba and are native or whatnot. But yeah, I guess Metis is the easiest word for it, cuz it means European and Native Ancestry. 

Even I know I don’t deserve all I have to suffer… I don’t try to put myself there, I just end up there. Maybe I should never go online, never leave my house, and have only female friends… then I couldn’t possibly get into this kinda shit -.-